Wanzology

 Howdy, hey, how are ya? How's it going? Welcome back to another episode of WANZOLOGY. And in the continuing saga of hashtag the book of wands, you can find on Amazon, hashtag the book of wands, all one word. We're going to start with this chapter that goes a little something like this. Living in the solution beats panic in the problem. Let me read that again. Living in the solution beats panic in the problem. Hmm. Ever notice how easy it is to identify multiple ways that something won't work? Simple to spot what the problem is. I was challenged by a friend of mine to live in the solution. I was like, well what does that mean? Hmm. When one looks only at what's wrong with something or someone, they tend to develop an opinion that opinion may not always be healthy, nor are they always accurate.

The problem comes when actions are based on that opinion. Once words and actions combine, things, quote unquote, things happen. Others see and hear those, quote unquote, things. And then before you know it, more opinions spin off, creating misunderstanding, even hatred. Living in the solution is looking for possible, positive. Outcomes to challenging situations. Some are as simple as what flavor of coffee drink do I want? What shoes do I want to wear? Others are as complex as how do I find a new job or a new partner? The answer is in the action. As long as we don't try something, we are living in our problems. It's that simple. I now wonder how folks achieve anything given how much I hear, quote, oh, that'll never work, unquote. What can you tell the future now? If that was the case, why aren't those, quote unquote, in the know? Not betting and winning big in Vegas, or banking big lottery scores every week. Eh, NEWSFLASH!! none of us knows more than any other person. We know exactly what we know. The question is, can we create possible solutions and have the courage to try them? Hmm.

Are we strong enough to fail? As kids, we used to be, we used to not get the right answers on tests. We used to have training wheels on our bikes. We used to not know how to dance, how to kiss, how to parallel park. The solution to any and every problem is the result of attempting and failing, thereby eliminating another way of not succeeding. The more ways we try, the closer we get to a solution, provided we know what we'd like, quote unquote, the solution to be, and can muster the courage. to attempt action. We can succeed. I hear lots of parents say their kids have to quote, learn from their mistakes. Unquote. Does that mean once we're grown, we stop learning? I doubt it. I think the pitfall for most adults is that they lose the courage to look dumb. We stopped trying because we don't want to fail and be judged by others. We don't want to look bad. Sure. We'll try, try to roller skate again. If we're in the comfort of our own empty garage, but on a public sidewalk or a roller rink and not so much.

If success is trying something and getting the outcome we'd like after an action, then why not think of more ways to succeed instead of fail. Start with the simple things like trying a different color shirt, blouse, try food you've never had before. How about getting coffee at a different coffee shop? Now, expand that thinking to balancing a checkbook, learning a new computer program or app, maybe reaching out to a stranger online and starting a conversation. When we restrict ourselves by believing we already know the outcome. And that the action we take won't work, we limit the possibilities of said outcome.

There's more than one way to get to almost any point on the planet. Why can't there be more than one solution to any problem? Why can't we look at the solution rather than the problem? Simple. Because we lack the courage to fail, and don't want to look stupid. Well, to quote Forrest Gump, “Stupid is as stupid does.” When one does nothing, yet re-identifies a challenge or a problem, that's stupid. Try thinking of ways to get there, rather than believe you'll never get there. Try thinking of different ways of doing things. Or going places, rather than bitch about how this or that will never work. Try, try, try. What have you got to lose? As the guy in the movie Risky Business says, “sometimes you just gotta say what the fuck.”

Interesting. You know, this, this #THEBOOKOFWANZ thing was, I mean, I wrote it and I put it all together in about 2015, 2016. And when I put it together, I never ever realized how often I would have these kinds of epiphanies and share them with the kids that I was talking to outside of venues before Macklemore concerts.

My dad used to say, “nothing beats a try but a fail.” And boy, since I didn't want to fail, I could never figure out that phrase. It took me years, years to understand ‘nothing beats a try, but a fail.’ There's a new meme out these days that I really like. And it says, “Either I win, or I learn.” Now, where was that when I was like in seventh grade? “Either I win, or I learn.” For a long time, I was telling people you know, learning is kind of like being a toddler all over again, because when we're learning how to walk, we're not real good at it. Bumping into things, always falling down, losing our balance, I mean, stairs. Man, I can only imagine what it was like trying to do stairs when, when I was like, I don't know, 15, 16 months old. I coined a phrase a while ago to help me not be afraid to try things. It goes, we don't learn how to walk. We just learn how not to fall down as much anymore. Because, you know. Now that we’re ‘know it all humans’, we know how to walk, we know how to do a flight of stairs. Hell, we can run a flight of stairs. Hell, we can maybe run a flight of stairs backwards. That's how good we got. But when you think about it, it’s only circumstantial. It's only good if, if, and only if, fill in the blank.

I mean, really. You know, how many chances are you going to take asking someone that you're attracted to out on a date cup of coffee or something saying what you really want to say in a discussion slash argument with a significant other or maybe standing up to a superior at work because you know that that person is wrong. These are all the things that you can try. You can try him. If you’re not worried about failing, but failing is like the biggest thing that human, I mean, that's, you know, nobody likes to be the person who is like walking with a tray full of coffee and they're walking across the street, and they trip on the curb and spill everything. Nobody likes to be that person. We all love to laugh at that person, but nobody likes to be that. But for a second, imagine what it's like to be that person. You tripped and fell and spilled everything. Now what now what people are already looking at you. You've already been judged, now what? Some will be like, joke it off. “Oh, there was a hurricane four inches above the ground, blew my shoe off!”. Some will blame it on something, someone, anything. Still others will deny that they had anything to do with it, even though they’re no longer standing, carrying a tray full of drinks.

Me? More times than not, when I screw up like that, I, uh, I say it pretty much the same thing. Oh, there I go again. Proving to myself that I'm human. Yeah, that's it. That's it. Proving to myself that I'm human. Anytime I put my keys somewhere I can't find them. Anytime I put my phone somewhere, I can't find it. I mean, it's just annoying. I live alone, so it's like, “huh, where did my phone go? Who came in my place and took my phone? Oh, I went into another room for something else and set it on something black and it camouflaged itself, which is why I didn't see it the first five or six times.” Yes, sir. Do you have the courage to be honest with yourself? Let yourself be human?

I'll leave you with this. Here's the really cool thing that'll cook your noodles, you know, there was a time when life was a little complicated once you got past what was 10 times 10, 5 times 5, 6 divided by 2, 15 divided by 3. These are all like, simple math problems now, but before, they were kinda hard. We had to figure them out. And you know what? Some of us got it wrong. But what happened after that? “Oh, that's how you do it. That's how you do it.” Every once in a while I ask somebody, so do you remember when you didn't know what five times five was? And if you can remember that, do you remember when you figured it out and then you explained it to somebody else and they got it that first time you explained it and then they got it? How did that make you feel? How did you feel that you explained it to them and they got it? Bet you felt okay. Bet you felt proud. I bet you bet you felt “I can do things” I bet. Yeah.

Well, my friends, that feeling, in my opinion, is the goal of life. Not only having that feeling but instilling it in other people. When you show somebody how to do something and they learn how to do it, you feel some sort of way capable. I don't know what you feel, but I guarantee you, it's not bad. Could you imagine if more people work to get that feeling instead of that'll never work? “It's impossible.”, “Oh yeah, I don't want to do that, man.”, “I've never done that before. It's, it's probably stupid”, instead of “wonder what happens if I do ‘this’?”, “Now, I've done that before, but what happens if I do it this way?”, “I usually always go to this coffee shop. What if I went to the other one around the corner? Do their iced mochas taste the same? Do they have the same accoutrement in the case?”, or are you just going where you're going because you've always gone there? Are you doing what you're doing because that's the way you've always done it? It has been said that in order to have a different experience with anything, you have to do something different, something unfamiliar. Can you do that? I don't know. I've tried it and I'm not afraid to fall on my face. I'm not afraid to make mistakes. Well, yeah, I am. Everybody is. Tried to sneak that one past you, but I'm learning. I'm learning. Making mistakes is the key to learning things. So, I encourage you to go out and be more human and show someone else what it's like to be more human.

Maybe you can compare notes and figure out what you learn. I mean, there’s more than one way to get to any point on the planet. You don't have to always just take the same route, right? Yeah, man. Let, let that simmer for a little bit. We learn by failing, we learned by failing.

May you fail gracefully and learn massively. That's the point.

I thank you for checking out another episode and I encourage you to leave a review and spread the word, WANZOLOGY is the way to go! It's the way to go.

Be good. Later.