Wanzology

Misery Is But One Of Many Questions

 And a happy Wednesday to you. I hope that you're doing well. I am The Wanz and you are encased in another episode of WANZOLOGY. How ya doing? You all right? Thanks for being here.

Hey, I just wanted to let you know, I am working on a WANZOLOGY webpage that'll have all the episodes, all the past episodes of WANZOLOGY, as well as a blog that we will converse with each other and amongst ourselves. Anytime. Can't wait. Stay tuned.

Okay, so we’re getting down to it. We're in the last couple of chapters, the last few chapters of hashtag the book of wands. If you haven't gotten one yet, you better go to Amazon and get you one. Just look for hashtag the book of wands on one word, search for it. You'll find it.

So today the chapter is MISERY IS BUT ONE OF MANY QUESTIONS IN LIFE. REMEMBER, YOU HAVE THE SKILL TO PASS THE TEST, LIFE.

Misery, as a noun, is a state of being. I once thought that state as being like a city, or a town, as well as a part of the United States. A place that, if I didn't like it, I could leave. Additionally, I thought of each state of mind that I ‘chose’ to be in as a test that life was giving me to see how I'd act. My father told me, quote, “Those lessons in life not learned will be repeated”, unquote.

And he was right.

Many times, I'd find myself in my own head, feeling like crap over one thing or another, not sure how I got there, and sometimes having no idea how to leave that ‘state’. Experience is a great teacher. It always seems to know exactly when to have a pop quiz, an exam, or send you home with study materials. No matter how much you think you know, those tests keep happening to you, to your family and friends, and to those folks who ask you for the answers on their test, sort of like this book. What I found with this particular word, misery, is that for me, it is a fork in the road, up or down, right or left, back or forward, I had a chance to remain where I was, which was miserable, or move.

For so long, I just stood and took it. Just endured the misery thinking that I was supposed to do that until somehow, I learned how not to be miserable ever again. That was so wrong. Being that I was already miserable, the question was always, “How long did I want to stay miserable?” I forget that action is the great power we all have. It is action that gets us out of whatever state we're in. Misery is but one of the many challenges in life that all of us go through. Part of it is self-examination and self-evaluation. Neither of these is bad in and of itself. When the results of these efforts turn to a deeper and deeper exploration into one's self, and when blame becomes the hammer beating the nail of decision into the wood of your conscience, then, misery becomes unhealthy.

When you start to feel worse instead of better, when you become the reason for your misery, that's when you're caught in the quicksand of it all. When it seems like no matter what move you make, it's the wrong one, that's when you know you're in the grip of misery. The rope that pulled me out of misery was to treat each self-evaluation as a test that I was receiving from a teacher in class. It wasn't that I was going to pass or fail, so much as I had started to give value to being present to take the test. The important part about ‘being’ is the realization that there are more triumphs than failures. Otherwise, your life would really be over. You'd be taking a dirt nap.

Give yourself some credit. You didn't make it this far in life because you failed life's tests. You made it because you passed. Some tests you aced, some you gotta ‘C’, but you passed. You passed and gained the knowledge of your experience. Hopefully in that experience, you will find the courage to pass. The next test that life gives you, your experiences may vary. But, you have that experience and can pass any question that life poses. You remember that? Remember that.

The mind is a terrible thing. And if one is not careful, your mind will tell you things that are not true. And you'll believe them. You'll believe every single thing it tells you. Kind of like when I used to drink tequila and think I was bulletproof. I used to believe that stuff. Boy, the next day I didn't feel bulletproof. Felt like a sack of booty. But I digress. You know, sometimes it's really hard for me to get my mind around how undeniably complicated but simple life is. Life is just a series of situations, circumstances, actions, decisions, and we go through and do the best that we can, and sometimes we're successful at achieving whatever goal it is that we're trying to get to, and sometimes we're not. But this is about when the goal is not reached and you get overly sad about it, overly regretful that you failed. And when I say overly, I mean, it, it, I don't know how to describe it. I mean, I used to think it was like, do you remember every Christmas they'd show the black and white, old version of a Christmas carol. They would show Jacob Marley. He would appear in this really cheesy special effect, but he had a big cloth tied from his chin to the top of his head, and he had all those chains on. and he's told Ebenezer Scrooge that these were the chains that he forged in life and that he had to carry in death.

There have been times when I was quite sure I was already carrying those damn chains. Life was just heavy. Ever feel like that? You ever feel like, I don't know. It just, if it's raining, it's going to rain more. If it's sunny and warm, you can't go outside no matter what, no matter what. It just seems like every move you make is a wrong one. You zag when you should zig or stay when you should go. And it can bring you down. It really can. But it wasn't until I started figuring out that any time that I got down at it, it was a test. It was a test to see how I would react. How long I would choose to stay there. There's that word again. Choose. Choice. Superpower. Remember? Believe me. I am not perfect. I forget it all the damn time. All the time.

I have the power and the privilege to start my day over anytime I want to. Even if it's just getting into bed. I can start my day all over again. And then end it, just so I can tell myself I, I did okay. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But you know, sometimes you just, you just have to know how to put ‘it’ down. How to put all the stress and misery down. It's not going anywhere,

So how do you, how do you do that? You know, all of us, when we get into bed, it's like, there's a routine that you go through, turning out lights, or have a sip of water, and maybe you'll read a little bit, and turn out the light, and then you roll over, and then you roll over again, and take a deep breath, and uh, And next thing you know, you're waking up. That little routine, that’s the key. If you're feeling miserable, sad, melancholy, under whatever, think about it, you're feeling that way, you don't really want to feel that way anymore. So what's your routine? How do you get out of it? What's wild is for a long time, my routine to get out of misery was to start at the beginning of side one, of Earth, Wind, and Fire, “I Am” all the way to the end of the first side.

So the first side, you know, starts out (mimicking a band playing) “In The Stone”, baby! And then at the end of In The Stone, it starts (singing instrument parts) and all of a sudden the horns come in (singing instrument parts)…
(sung) “Love that's born in truth,
All the doubt removed”,

By the time it got to:
“After The Love Is Gone” and then it went into
“Let your feelings show
Every day you've got to let your feelings show, hey!”

I felt better! Every. Single. Time. Every single time. It was, it was the one thing that if I was really down in the mouth I would put it on. I would just even think about it and just try to remember all the words to the first side of that record, and every single time, I felt better.

Now for you, it could be different, okay? You might have a pet that you need to scratch or cuddle with, maybe a doll, or maybe you just need the ocean noises or, you know, ambient noise. You close your eyes and mentally take yourself away. All I know is that there's a routine to getting out of misery. There is a routine, and for everyone it's a little different, but, I think that if you can keep in your little mind's back pocket something that makes you happy to think about when you were a kid, or graduation, or getting married, or that, you know, that first kiss of that person that you always wanted to kiss, maybe it's a puppy. I don't know, but it's something. There is something. Find that something. And just kind of put it over to the side where you can go to it and mess around with it in your head. Just take a time out and go mess with it. It only takes a couple minutes, but I guarantee you the weight of misery will decrease.

There are times when life for me is so challenging, so bad, I don't want to do anything. I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want to talk to anybody. So, I'll just sit. What are you doing? I'm just waiting. Waiting for what? Change. Waiting for something to change. It always has. Something has always changed. So I have no reason to doubt that something will change. I just have to have the faith to believe I can wait for ‘it’, whatever ‘it’ is, and I mean I have no idea what ‘it’ is, but I'll know it when I feel it. And all of a sudden, all the misery just kind of goes away. Because you're busy doing something else.

And you'll look back and you go,” Wow!” I was stuck in that hole for a little while, or, you know, it's like a stain. It's like, ugh, I couldn't get it off me. Ugh, being in a, being dressed up to the nines. In really humid weather, clothes just drip, just draped on you. And then when it's gone, you feel light as a feather.

Yeah. Routine. Each of us has our own little routine that keeps us right sized, not too big, not too small. Not too small, but just the right size. And I would encourage you to go find yours. Like I said, it's something that no matter where you are and what you're doing, it makes you happy, right?

Excellent. Thank you again for joining me for another episode of WANZOLOGY.

I will see you next week.