Wanzology

  Welcome to your day!! This is The Wanz and another episode OF, WANZOLOGY!! Man, I really hope that, you know, you're digging these things. And if so, Please don't keep it to yourself. You know what I mean? You know what I mean, man? Make sure that you're like sharing that stuff with your friends, okay? Mm hmm. Nice. Okay. I hope that everyone is doing well and that all you know, how your mama do? Your mama do, good? Okay Yeah! I'm gonna keep reading from the fabulous book, Hashtag TheBookOfWanz.

Today, the chapter is: “Never limit yourself and what you can do. No one is a better you than you”.

Have you ever stopped to think that out of all the human beings that there are on the earth, you are the only you there is? You are unique, a rare breed. No one can be you. They can only imitate their perception of you. Do you see how much power there is in that? Being unique means there's no manual on what or who you're supposed to be. Only you set those limits. Only you can set those limits. As my friend Macklemore put it, “we tend to make our own ceiling.” Why do we do this to ourselves? I believe it's because no matter how unique we appear to be, we are human, and humans are social animals. We like being in groups. We evolved much more rapidly once groups were established. We learned to communicate, to farm, and work as teams, villages, towns, cities, countries. We've created tools and procedures to help us rise to the top of the food chain. Yet, with all that power, we still are quite fragile inside. Our minds do more damage to us than most people think.

Remember in high school when you wanted to try out for something and didn't because you were afraid? You did that to yourself. A lot of us did and still do. Same mind game, different playing field. Courage to ask for help, to expose ourselves as less than. Think you can do that now? No matter what age you are, I'm sure there are limits to how much you'll put yourself out there. If you've never run track, you’re not gonna challenge an Olympic sprinter. If you flunked algebra, you're probably not gonna try to do college math. If you've never driven, you're not gonna try getting behind the wheel of a race car But, who says you can't someday who says you can't do any of these things and more? YOU DO!!!
Fear of failing, fear of succeeding, fear of looking stupid, fear of standing out, fear is the biggest obstacle we create for ourselves. It keeps us from finding answers, pathways, direction. Slows us from obtaining the things we can do. If you don't know something, ask someone who does. A question never killed anybody. If you're not sure, investigate. The internet is full of answers. Use it, silly.

You've been you all your life. Not even your parents know all your capabilities. Nuances, quirks, or fears, only you do. So, with the newfound power you’ve entrusted to yourself, what are you going to do? What do you want to do? If you could do anything, be anything, what would that be? Who would that look like? Why, it would look like you, of course. Macklemore said it a long time ago, “we tend to make our own ceiling.” We limit ourselves with our own fear. Man, this is so in my wheelhouse, it's crazy. Fear is like my constant companion. And it's strange that I still fear so many damn things. Mostly it's like the fear comes from not knowing how things are going to turn out.

Not very many people dig not knowing how things are going to turn out. I mean, we have a, we have a little bit of a supposition that we quote unquote ‘know’ how things are going to turn out. Oh, I love this one. Tying your shoe. When's the last time you screwed up tying your shoe? I can't think of the last time I did that. Walking a flight of stairs. Putting on your pants backwards. When's the last time you did that? I'm picking these silly things because fear really doesn't come into play anymore, but let's, let's flip it. Let's flip it to, oh, you’ve never been to this place before. And when you walk in, it’s not that big, and everyone is looking at you, and you're by yourself, by the way. That's a little strange. Or, how's this one? That person over there is hella attractive. I really, really, really would like to get to know who that is. Well, then why don't you just walk over and get to know who that is? Oh, yeah. You'd have to start a conversation. Fear will keep you in one place, out of another place, fear will keep you safe, and at the same time, rob you of maybe one of your best experiences. You have to put yourself out there. You have to expose you. Once you do that, you could be judged. People could get an impression. They might, they might start to feel some sort of way. Uh huh. Once you put yourself out there, yeah, there ain't no going back, at least not easily.

A smart person learns from their own mistake. A wise person learns from the mistakes of others, so that they don't have to make the mistake themselves. So if you watch people, and watch what they do, you’re going to figure it out. You're going to see how either you want to be, or how you don't want to be. But I'll tell you, being able to recognize when you have an unhealthy level of fear is crucial. Crucial. Crucial. It is more than necessary if you want to be content with yourself. If you want to have peace of mind, you gotta be able to conquer fear. One of the approaches that I was turned on to was ‘act as if’. Meaning, say you've never, you've never gone bowling. Well, you see what people do when they get there, they get the shoes and then they go and sit down and put the shoes, they swap shoes, and then they go look for a ball and find one that's not too heavy, and your fingers fit like they're supposed to, like you see other people and then comes that time that the first time you're going to roll the ball down the lane and you're watching other people do it, and it's like, huh, I don't know if I can do that. And there you go. You lean forward and then he, then you swing your arm and boom into the gutter it goes, and you turn around and sure enough, every single eyeball in the joint is looking at you. You're going to continue or are you done? Because for some they're done. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, I obviously was not good at that. So I'm not, I'm not doing that again. You're afraid of what people are going to think. People are going to think what they want to anyway. Doesn't matter. All they gotta do is look at you, they're thinking something, but the nice thing is, is you don't know what that is. And if you don't know what it is, why do you care? Oh, that's right. Fear. They could be thinking…that. Or they, or they could be thinking…something like that.

You are not special if you are afraid of something. And you're lying if you say, well, I'm not afraid of anything. Everyone is afraid. Everyone is afraid or else everyone would want to be first. First in the door, first on the stage, first on the ride. Not everybody's like that. We'll let somebody else be first. Cause for all you know, it could be first one in the lion's pit or first one off the cliff, maybe first one to get their ass kicked. You never know. Not always good being first. We fear so many things, and I mean, this is different, not the fear of like the scientific ones, like fear of heights or fear of spiders or fear of water or something, no, I'm talking about social fears. I'm talking about, “Man, I really, really would like that job!!”, but you're afraid to ask for it. Or, the most common one is I really, really want to go out with that person. Maybe they, maybe they would like, maybe they would like me. Maybe they, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe yourself in the next week, but you never go out with that. But you never ask them because you're afraid of what could happen. Life is a demonstration. I mean, it's a verb. You, you have to do things right? And some people myself included are afraid to do that. Nobody wants to look stupid. Nobody wants to fail. Nobody wants to look less than or look like they are less than nobody. Nobody. Think about it this way. A lot of people play music, a lot of bands, right? They, you know, how do they get so good? How do the dancers know where to step? Where, how does, how does all this stuff? They practice, because they don't want to be the one to fail. They don't want to fall down. They don't want to go left when everybody else goes right. That's not something that I could do. I can't do like choreography, dance routines. People have dancers to their video and their song and stuff. Man! That's just one of those things that I don't think I could do. I have, I have a good memory, it's just short. So, to try to remember, I mean, I couldn't even learn all the moves for the Michael Jackson Thriller video, and after all this time, you think I would have? Eh no. Go the wrong direction, bump into somebody. And then all of a sudden there you are exposed and everybody's looking at you. That's got to feel good. I guess choice fear is a double-edged sword. It can either protect you or it can restrict you. You just have to figure out what's useful and what's not. And again, it comes back to you never limit yourself and what you can do. No one is a better you than you.

I'll leave you with this. My dad used to say, “Nothing beats a try, but a fail.” and you know what, as simple as that is, I couldn't figure it out for the life of me for a long time. As an adult, I mean like, as a middle-aged person, “Nothing beats a try, but a fail.” I mean, it didn't make sense to me. And then I figured out why it didn't make sense to me. I was always focused on the ‘trying’ part. I never really worried about the rest of it. If I didn't think I could do something, well, then I didn't think I could do something. But to try something I'd never done before? Hmm. The older we get, the less new things we're going to try. Know why that is? My experience is because we don't like failing, and the older you get, the less you want to fail in front of somebody. Because they're going to be looking at you. The older you get, the less you want to be ‘that’ person who messes up. But it's ironic that, you know when we were kids, we had to fail. We had to fall down a lot before we learned how to walk. So fear is always going to be there. You're never going to be without fear. But the question is, how are you going to use the fear? Are you going to use it to keep you from doing something you might like? Are you going to use it to block you from maybe meeting that special person? Taking that special job? Moving to that place? It's up to you. But then again, you already knew that. Right? Your life, you get to choose. Only problem is, you get to choose. Everything could be great. If you make the right choice. Everything’s going to suck. If you make the wrong choice. Are you worth it? I can't answer that for you. You can answer that for yourself though. Are you worth it? Are you worth the risk to overcome the fear? I think you can figure that out. Try it. What's the worst that can happen? Oh, that's right. I forgot. Somebody will think something of you. They might laugh at you, oh, that's gotta be painful. It's okay to fall down. It's okay to fail. Failing coincidentally gets you one step closer to succeeding because you know one way that doesn't work.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Isn't it funny that when you can't find your keys, they're always in the last place you look? Why is that? I don't know. Maybe that's another podcast in and of itself. But for now, dance with your fears and take their power. You can do anything. You can. All you got to do is try. That's all you got to do. It's just that simple. And it's just that hard. Choose wisely.

Right on. Thanks for hanging with me for another episode, and uh, be sure to spread the love. Okay. Tell people about this podcast. If you find it interesting, you find it entertaining and such spread the love, baby. Let's start our own little WANZOLOGY community. I can't do it without you. Okay. Thanks again for hanging with me.

I will see you later.